If you click around on here, look around on my other social media or ever meet me in person, you may notice something.
I have developed an accent...
It is called profanity.
I know that all of the greatest orators of our time, presidents, statesman, writers and philosophers never use it. I know that the use of forbidden words has been called everything from offensive to unprofessional to immoral. I know that it is seen by some as hurtful and makes you look awful.
And I get it.
I get using dirty words is seen by some segments of society as bad. The mark of a charlatan, the mark of a low brow man. Even the great Jeff Cooper, who I read the philosophies of as a younger man, stated that profanity was "guttural" and that it would make the speaker of it only appeal to those he would never want to associate with and respect.
I am CERTIAN it has caused people to loose the message of what I am saying. I am certain that it has "turned off adult learners." I have been told by professional educators (that have run classes for many more years than I have} that "when you swear, you can offend, and therefore loose your audience." I have seen course evaluations that have said, "the use of your profanity is inappropriate, you don't have to use it to reach your audience." I am sure I have not been invited to speak at certain organizations again, not because of WHAT I said, but how I said it.
So don't think I don't understand it, and depending on the audience, TRY to control it.
But I don't do a great job at holding it in. I still say fuck, shit, goddamned, motherfucker, bitch and various creative forms of versions of male genitals all the time.
I know... Fuck me.
Now, I can give you all kinds of reasons that I do this.
I can give you all kinds of JUSTIFICATIONS as to why I do this also.
Such as the fact that I have operated in a world pretty much all of my adult life where I was, in fact, around "guttural" people who I did not want to associate with or respect. I had to not only work among these people, but I also had to gain some level of their respect. And one way to gain the respect of someone is to talk the talk, and be AUTHENTIC WITH IT.
A guy who does not swear, nor is known for it, will be looked down upon by those around him if he suddenly does. This is because it is shocking. The use of profanity can be to shock and offend someone. Those who don't swear and suddenly start to sound like a sailor can also be seen as trying to fit in, it can be seen as "fake" bravado.
My language is not that. I really don't need to shock you. I am really not trying to offend you. I also don't need you to like me that much that my ego will be terribly bruised if you don't.
It is how I talk because it is based on my knowledge and cultural norms of the world that I am in.
I was talking to a small town police chief yesterday. I am pretty sure that if you heard our conversation and profanity was offensive to you, you would be clutching your pearls at your neck and blushing. If you were a really morally superior being, you would probably want us both to be fired or have sensitivity indoctrination training.
Neither he nor I were offended, shocked or were trying to fit in. We were just authentically talking to each other. The confrontations with violence, the politics of bureaucracy, hell the weather authentically spoken between individuals. No sparring for position, no concern for where each of us stood as it related to power over the other. Just two men who have lived our lives dealing with things that most do not want to see, having a conversation, freely.
You know what? It was nice. It IS nice.
And I want to be authentic with you, too.
If I call you a motherfucker and in turn you call me one back, it puts me at ease. It is authentic. You are not trying to cast status over me, nor I over you. Believe it or not, I have learned to take it as a sign of respect.
If I call you a motherfucker and in turn you attempt to become offended by this and attempt to use it against me or hold this as a status symbol of your moral superiority over me, then there will be tension.
In my world, tension leads to conflict, which leads to violence.
The people you may one day have to face in the world, the ones that you see that are covered in black tattoos and are comfortable with violence on a level you will never believe... They are familiar with this concept.
Those that worked with me, they knew, if I STOPPED swearing, If I suddenly got my professional voice on and was clearly making an effort to say NOTHING that could be seen at any level as profane or offensive... Well, they usually reached for whatever tools were on their belts, got into a defensive stance and prepared to do battle. There is something wrong. Things are going south.
The bad guys do the same thing. They will be overly nice or kind to try to put you at ease before they strike. If they are at a position of tactical disadvantage, they will go into victim mode, they will talk as if there is just a giant misunderstanding and say "please, sir" a lot. Watch any of the police footage that is everywhere, listen for it, it wont take you long to hear it.
They are being deceptive to gain advantage. Because that is NOT how they authentically talk to anyone that they respect.
Criminals can also use profanity to shock you, but it is on a different level then you are even used to from that latest gangster movie.
I have always found it disingenuous to train someone for violence, but only go, "Golly Gee Willickers, I am going to kick your behind!" when I train them. Then the first time they encounter the man with his penis exposed through a door saying, "Suck this big dick you fucking faggot! I will scull fuck your pink ass until you love me more then your wife, then I will fuck her in front of you! You white HO ass BITCH!"
Yeah, that happened to me. More then once actually.
Outside the world of violence, of criminals, it can be a power play. People want to be offended so bad because that offense gives them power over others. It is still a ruse. Those same people who get easily offended by profanity in the meeting or during a presentation, will be the same ones who listen to songs by Cardi B on their way home and watch movies that have motherfucker in them 50 times in 45 minutes.
Some people just get offended because they are truly easily offended. But those are rare. To them, I am sorry.
So some, even most, people who present or teach just worry about the pearl-clutchers who wish to have power over others by being easily offended so much, that they simply yield to them.
In the Boardroom, or in high levels of government or politics this is a sound strategy.
But I don't deal in quarterly stock dividend returns or complex CNC programing or trying fruitlessly to make all my constituents happy so I can get re elected.
I deal in interpersonal violence.
So give me a break on it, Motherfucker.